his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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