The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
