I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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