so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
