ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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