Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
