my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
