yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize