Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
