I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
