She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
