I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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