So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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