We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
