Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
