Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
