got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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