i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
