An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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