I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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