the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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