3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
