So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Buhtt sex?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
