YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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