# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
