Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
