We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
