i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
