i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize