Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
