you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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