i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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