hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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