you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Randomize
