8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
