this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
