i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
