dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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