If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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