WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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