Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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