We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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