Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize