During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
