It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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