He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Still dying that you shit outside
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
