Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
