I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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