Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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