called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
