Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
