Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
