Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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