so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
