I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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