Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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